


Empathy Might Be On The Brink Of Extinction

by tjstar



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Empathy, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Josh has to fight Blurry for Tyler, M/M, Mental Instability, Nightmares, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 12:04:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6657070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjstar/pseuds/tjstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soul bond always starts with empathy. Soulmates share the pain and pleasure, happiness and anxiety, creating the Balance; that’s all what Josh knows about it in theory. </p><p>His parents were seventeen when their empathy had started; Josh is twenty now, and he suspects he’s already a bit late for getting this thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empathy Might Be On The Brink Of Extinction

Living with the senses of your soulmate is hard, but the soul bond always starts with empathy. The questions like _‘are you hiding something from me?’_ just lose their meaning, because soulmates are always mentally naked for each other. They’re sharing dreams and feelings; they have their own channel of connection; it’s like a rope of emotions that holds them together.   

Soulmates share the pain and pleasure, happiness and anxiety, creating the Balance; that’s all what Josh knows about it in theory.

His parents were seventeen when their empathy had started; Josh is twenty now, and he suspects he’s already a bit late for getting this thing. All of his friends (yes, Josh calls them _‘friends’_ , because he wants to have friends even though his ‘friends’ already have their best friends) have found their soulmates, and they’re proud of it.

So, sometimes Josh hangs out with couples. He has no choice.

“When I met Patrick, he was wearing yellow contacts and a hook on his hand,” Pete laughs, throwing his arm over the shoulder of his soulmate-boyfriend. “It was Halloween, and it was the best fucking party in my life!”

“Our after-party was much better,” Patrick chuckles, gently removing Pete’s hand off his shoulder.  

“Yeah! But I’m sorry for putting my depression on you,” Pete murmurs, making attempt to hug Patrick again.

“Stop apologizing,” Patrick smiles warmly, slapping Pete’s hand.

“Dudes, I hope I’m not bothering you?” Josh asks, fidgeting on the plastic chair nervously.

They’re sitting in the small cafeteria, and Josh feels like being the third wheel is his fate.

“No,” Pete replies with the wide grin, and Patrick just wordlessly shakes his head.

 _‘That’s how it works’,_ Josh thinks. _‘But that’s not working on me,’_ he adds mentally.

What if his soulmate just doesn’t exist?! Josh spends his free time dyeing his hair weird colors — it’s bright-pink now — instead of making out with random persons somewhere in club’s bathrooms. Of course, Josh can find somebody for one night stand thing, but what if it would ruin his probable soul bond? He’s afraid he might betray his potential soulmate, that’s all. 

Being single sucks.

 

*** 

_The stare of glowing red eyes burns his skin and makes him shiver violently, and the distorted voice echoes in his head: ‘This is what I’m feeling; this is what you’re feeling too!’_

Josh doesn’t realize he’s screaming in his sleep until his roommate Jack starts shaking him. Josh gulps down the last yelp, unable to shrug off the after-feeling of his nightmare; a thick layers of grief and fear painting his mood in the darkest colors, he feels defeated, broken and self-hatred — all at once.

Too many foreign emotions.

“It was just a dream, man,” Jack says soothingly, sitting on the edge of Josh’s bed and patting his back.

“Yeah,” Josh rubs his face, wishing he could just fall asleep again and forget about it.  

But he just watches the shadows on the ceiling for the rest of the night instead.

 

***

Nightmares keep beating him down for the next couple weeks. Josh learns the details of the strange person from his dreams — it’s a tall guy, dressed in buttoned up white shirt and red knit hat, with the black paint smeared on his hands and neck; he ducks his head to his shoulder, just scanning Josh with the gaze of his red eyes and whispering scary words.

_‘You can’t run away. You can’t hide from me.’_

After these _visions_ Josh usually wakes up choking on his heart in his throat, with a terrible headache spreading all over his brain, and once — with the purple marks on his wrists. It’s the highest level of the soul bond, Josh just can’t deny this fact. But now he thinks that being single wasn’t that awful.

Something wants to destroy him, it crawls into his head, staying here as a nasty whisper: _‘My name’s Blurryface’_.

Josh starts skipping classes at college, because he can’t focus on his education anyway — his weird soulmate transmits his emotions almost non-stop; it’s distracting, and it even hurts him physically.

“I think my soulmate is not a human,” Josh says, tugging the long sleeves of his sweater down to cover the colorful bruises on his hands.

“I think you need to sleep more,” Jack replies, jumping across their dorm like a hurricane and grabbing his t-shirt with the word ‘BONER’ across the chest.

He’s dressing up for the date with his soulmate Alex, and it means Jack is planning to spend the night with him, but Josh doesn’t want to stay alone.

“I’m serious. It’s like… a Creature,” Josh mutters.

“It’s just empathy. You’ve never felt this before, so of course it’s weird for you,” Jack shrugs, heading to the door. “Have fun with your soulmate, see you tomorrow!”

“Bye,” Josh huffs.

He’s scared. Also, it’s not only _his_ fear — he feels something elusive, something that has no description; like his Soulmate is just running circles, locked inside his own mind, and his anxiety sticks to Josh as a result.

Probably, Josh’s soulmate is fighting with his own imagination.

 

***

 _Blurryface._ This word is just ringing in Josh’s ears, because _somebody_ in his dreams is screaming helplessly, pleading to take _Blurry_ out. Then, there’s just the distorted laughing and the bunch of conflicting feelings and emotions: anger and calmness, apathy and excitement, humbleness and triumph.

Josh can’t find the meaning or purpose of it, but one thing is relatively clear — Blurry is pretending to be Josh’s soulmate.

“Stop hiding, you, fucking coward!” Josh groans, trying to reach for this guy; for the guy who had lost control over his own fantasies, and now Blurryface is just a metaphorical vessel for his negative emotions.

And Josh feels him. That’s how empathy works. The bond gets stronger with every day, and Josh’s mentally instable soulmate just keeps feeding his demons, slowly turning into one of them.

 

***

Jack is hanging out with Alex again, and Josh doesn’t know how he’s going to survive this night. Really. He has never been afraid of the dark or loneliness, but now he can’t ignore the familiar silhouette he catches out of the corner of his eye.

The lights are dim, and Josh watches TV to calm his imagination down — he doesn’t like stupid reality shows, but whatever.

Suddenly, the image on the TV goes off, getting replaced with the black and white lines and dots. Maybe, there’s something wrong with the antenna, because the TV is pretty small and old, so Josh lazily gets up from his squeaky bed and goes to check it out.

He doesn’t see the punch coming somewhere from the periphery and straight at his jaw. The force of blow almost knocks Josh off his feet, he smacks his shoulder against the wall; he doesn’t have a time to recover as another punch sends the pins of pain through his ribs.

The darkness covers the most of Josh’s surroundings, but anyway he sees those bright-red eyes he tried to avoid, the same clothes — white shirt and red beanie and black pants; the ropes of His emotions start tying around Josh’s mind.

All the shades of anger. Hate. And fear.

“Stop,” Josh wheezes, blocking the next hit and catching Blurry’s fist. “I know it’s not you!”

“You don’t know who I am,” Blurry responds; Josh expected to hear that distorted sound, but it’s just a real human’s voice. “I’m the collection of nightmares. I’m a part of you.”

“You are an asshole who brainwashed my soulmate,” Josh shouts, using Blurry’s pause to push him away.

Josh regrets of his decision, because Blurry promptly attacks him again; Josh’s head slams against the small table as Blurry throws him on the floor, pinning him down with all his weight.

“What are you fighting for?” Blurry asks, putting his paint-covered hands onto Josh’s neck; Josh feels something wet on his temple, but tries not to focus on it.

“For my soulmate’s mind,” Josh croaks out; Blurry’s sitting on his thighs now, his back hunched and his face is a scornful grimace, the redness of his eyes can burn a person alive, but there’s something hypnotizing in this.

“I am your soulmate,” Blurry hisses, his fingers are squeezing Josh’s throat, and Josh grips at Blurry’s wrists, wriggling underneath him.

Josh can’t breathe. But his arms are free, and his fuzzy brain gives him signals to fight back.

“YOU,” Josh throws the first punch, clipping Blurry’s chin and disorienting him. “ARE,” he rolls Blurry off himself, pressing his bony shoulders to the carpet. “NOT!!!” his fist strikes at Blurry’s lips, splitting them open; it doesn’t mean Josh’s absolute victory, but he notices a sparkle of confusion in Blurry’s red eyes.

The blood trickles from the corner of Blurry’s mouth, and the spectrum of his emotions and feelings changes: pain — doubt — shame — gratitude.

Josh can’t divide their personalities at the moment.

The silence hurts their ears, and only the movements of Blurry’s chest show that he’s _alive_.

“Thank you,” he mutters; his bottom lip is bruised and swollen, and his words are slurred because of this. He opens his eyes and blinks — they’re brown, Josh can see it in the light coming from the TV.

“Dude,” Josh starts apologetically. “You, um, tried to kill me?”

Their emotions tangle together, and it almost blows Josh’s mind; this guy’s anxiety mixes with adrenaline in Josh’s veins, their fears destroy each other, and curiosity overtakes them both.

“Thank you for stopping Blurry,” the defeated guy repeats. “Actually, my name is Tyler, and…”

“We’re soulmates,” Josh finishes the sentence and sighs. “I’m Josh. No offense, but your emotional side is fucked up.”

Tyler chuckles, the faint flashes of optimism blossom in his heart and in his mind, running across the soul bond and almost tickling Josh’s skin. Josh realizes his hands are still placed onto Tyler’s chest, blocking his attempts to get up. So he crawls away, giving Tyler more space; his eyes aren’t red, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

“You’ve got a nice name, Josh. I wanted to find a protection, but something went wrong,” Tyler explains, pulling off his red knit hat and sitting up awkwardly. For the first time Josh notices that his soulmate is young, no older than twenty.

“Thanks for the nightmares, by the way,” Josh smirks. “Meeting a red-eyed guy wasn’t my biggest dream.”

“Wait, what did you say — _red-eyed_?” Tyler’s voice sounds surprised. “Man, my eyes aren’t red in my Blurry-state. Like, they’re red _for me_ , but it’s only my imagination, you know? They’re brown for everyone else, except for… you.”

Oh. Of course. Blurry consists of Tyler’s fears and emotions and therefore he consists of everything what the empathy can catch.

They’re sitting like this, their backs pressed against the wall; the TV is still showing only the white noise, and Josh wonders if it’s completely broken.

“How did you get there?” Josh asks.

“Blurry guided me. The window wasn’t locked,” Tyler replies quietly. “I’m sorry for hitting you, you’ve got a cut on your head.”

The warm waves of Tyler’s concern almost take Josh’s pain away.

“And I busted your lip,” he carefully moves closer to Tyler, the soul bond buzzes from Tyler’s nervousness. “What are we going to do now?”

“I need your help,” Tyler whispers.

The sense of Tyler’s tiredness fills up Josh’s muscles; Tyler hunches his shoulders guiltily, cursing himself for _something_ — Josh focuses on it, and his heart clenches at the realization — Tyler thinks he’s not good enough for being Josh’s soulmate. Too troubled. Too anxious. Too double-sided.

Josh has to do something, because the clouds of fear start blurring Tyler’s mind again.

He just snatches the collar of Tyler’s shirt, pulls him closer and kisses him; Tyler hesitates for a second, but then he kisses back, and it somewhat isolates some of the negative emotions.

Josh’s hands grip Tyler’s dark hair, and Tyler’s finger traces to the crimson stain on Josh’s injured temple; Tyler tastes like copper, and Josh sends mental apologies through their soul bond.

He knows Tyler accepts them.

**Author's Note:**

> alright, tyler is usually the one who's struggling with blurry's pressure, so i decided to put josh into this war


End file.
